


Smooth Talk

by tiedyeflag



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Flirting, Fluff, M/M, Speeding Bullet (Team Fortress 2), shy sniper, socially awkward Sniper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 08:04:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9114265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiedyeflag/pseuds/tiedyeflag
Summary: Sniper practices ‘smooth talking’ in front of a mirror.





	

Sniper shoved his fingers into the container of pomade and scooped out the white cream. He ran it through his brown hair, combing it back the best he could. When done, he saw in the mirror that his hair still flicked up in unexpected places, refusing to cooperate. 

“Piss.”

Then he ran his tongue against the front of his teeth. He could still taste traces of toothpaste against them. He didn’t usually brush his teeth right after lunch--or at all, on occasion--but he brushed them anyway to calm his buzzing nerves.

Glancing at his wrist, he saw the face read a quarter until two. Fifteen whole minutes until two in the afternoon. Until Scout promised he’d mosey on over to Sniper’s camper van. Until he’d step inside and they’d watch some TV together, or…

Sniper wasn’t sure what else, but Scout’s extra flirtatious manner from their last encounter made Sniper’s heart pound and his knees wobble. Yes, they had been dating for well over half a year, and over the course of that time, learned to love and understand each other better. Yet Sniper’s throat still went dry--was Scout’s behavior really suggesting something more for today, or was he overthinking again?

He rinsed the oily remains of pomade off his fingers in the sink, dried them, and then ran his hands around his chin. The skin still felt tender, freshly shaven. He looked presentable enough for whatever Scout could possibly be planning--talking, cuddling, kissing, or…or...

Sniper splashed water onto his face, rubbing it into his eyes. He pressed a towel against his face to dry, then hung it back up. And then he gazed at his reflection. He raised an eyebrow. Then the other. And lowered the other. He arched both up and down quickly, comically suggestive, before a snicker slipped past his lips.

“Pfft--this is bloody ridiculous.” He chuckled. After shaking his head, he resumed making his eyebrows dance across his forehead as his mouth curled into a smile between trying not to bursting out laughing and trying to look confident. Another snicker as he lowered his eyelids at the mirror. His lips curled away, framing his pointy teeth. 

“H-Heya, Scou--no, no,” He mumbled. “Scout, you...lil’ roo? Yeah...yeah…” He flashed his ‘seductive’ face again and whispered, “Hey, lil’ roo. I’ve been expecting you.” Sniper scratched his chin. “I...I’ve been looking forward to...to...to seeing you…? No, that’s not sexy...I...I…”

Sniper walked away from the mirror to pace back and forth in the cramped space of his camper. He continued to mumble suggestive suggestions to himself while his lips pursed thoughtfully.

“I...I want...I want ya’ so bad, you lil roo. Yeah, that’s better. I’ve got...got good looks? Got...I’ve still got it, f--for an old man...eh, maybe. I must, er...Must’ve been a good man in my past life to... get some pretty boy like you to fancy me. Yeah, much better...yeah...yeaaaaah…” 

He hid his face with his hat with a giggle. How the hell do people do this with a straight face? Taking a deep breath, he leaned over the sink again, flashed the most confident smile he could with half lidded eyes, and whispered, “Hey there, lil’ roo. Been expecting you.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “I want ya so bad, been wanting ya all day, mate. Yeah...must’ve been a bloody good man in my past life to get some pretty boy like you to fancy me.” For a finishing touch, he licked his lips, taking care to slide his tongue against his sharp canines.

And then burst out laughing.

“Ahaha--aha--haha!” Sniper doubled over as tears leaked from his eyes, screwed shut so tight they hurt, almost hurt as much as his stomach bouncing with his laughter. “Aha--haha--oh my god, this is bloody--pfft--ahaHAHA!!”

Once the final waves of his laughter passed, he wiped his eyes and looked at his flushed face in the mirror. A shy smile settled on his lips as he sighed, eyes trailing around the edge of the mirror idly.

And saw, out of the corner of the reflection, Scout’s stupid face in the window behind Sniper.

As quick as flipping a coin, Sniper’s eyes widened and his face flushed a different shade of embarrassment. He turned around to gape at Scout, still staring through the window with a big, stupid grin on his face. He waved and disappeared as Sniper’s throat went dry. Sniper swore his heart leapt to his throat to choke him as he heard knocking at camper’s door.

Swallowing, Sniper slowly walked towards the door, looking as if he was walking through knee deep wet cement. He certainly felt like it. His fingers trembled as they grasped the doorknob, and opened the door a crack. He peeked through and found a sliver of Scout standing outside with his hands sitting in his pants pockets.

“Er...h-hey, Scout.” Sniper croaked.

“‘Sup, Snipes?” Scout cocked his head. “Can I come in or what?”

“Uh--yeah, sure--”

Scout quickly pushed the door open and slipped past Sniper. He even shut the door for Sniper, paralysed with nerves. Scout stepped closer until his chest brushed against Sniper’s, and tilted his head up with a cocky grin.

“Sooooo what’s up with sweet talkin’ your reflection?”

“I--It was--Um--Y’know--” Sniper once again lowered the brim of his hat as a deeper shade of red graced his cheeks, but a hand, a much smaller one, stopped him.

“Here’s an idea; why not spend less time hidin’ and more time talkin’ to me?” Scout said.

“Scout, I--I don’t--”

“Aw, c’mon! Pleeeeeaaase~?”

Sniper bit his lips as Scout fluttered his pretty little eyelashes. Sniper swallowed his heart back down his throat, and stuttered, “Uh...H--hey there, l--lil’ roo...I’ve been--been expecting y--you…?”

“Keep goin’.” 

“Um--I want--I want bad--no, no, I mean, I--I want ya’ so bad.” His face blazed crimson under Scout’s gaze. “And, uh, I must’ve...must’ve been...been a g--goo--aw, piss.” Sniper turned away and cupped his hands over his face, the warm flush of his cheeks burning his palms. He barely noticed Scout’s hands flinging around his waist and hugging him from behind.

“You musta been a good what?” Scout buried his face into Sniper’s back.

“Can’t a man stuff his foot down his throat in peace?”

Scout snorted. “Well, not today, babe. So won’t ya finish?” He squeezed. “Pretty please?”

“Scou--”

An even tighter squeeze.

“...” Sniper licked his lips, inhaled deeply, and said, “Imust’vebeenagoodmaninmy--”

“Slower, Snipes! Aren’t I supposed to be the fast one?” Scout chuckled. “‘Sides, you’ll end up biting your tongue!”

“R--right, right…” Sniper coughed. “I...I--I must’ve been a...g--good man in my p--past life to...to get such a pretty boy like you t--to fancy m--me…?”

Silence, other than Sniper’s pounding heart beat, like the countdown to when Scout would guffaw at Sniper and point out how stupid he sounded and--and Scout was already laughing and turning Sniper around so he could face the humiliation head on.

But Sniper blinked when he finally lowered his hands to see Scout. He found a peculiar twinkle in Scout’s eyes, half lidded and matched with a lazy grin.

“Sorry, pal, but you’re wrong on that last one.”

“W--what?”

“You’re already a good man,” Scout pulled Sniper close to his chest. “And I’m gonna prove it to ya’.” He stood on his tiptoes while tugging Sniper down by the collar of his red shirt. Scout firmly sealed his chapped lips against Sniper’s in a kiss.

After that brief moment when time seems to stand still, as if abandoning its duty to observe intimacy uninvited, Sniper sighed through his nose and hugged Scout closer. He felt Scout’s hand knocking his slouch hat off to grip at his once neatly combed hair, and felt his tongue probe at his lips. When he opened his mouth and tasted strawberry bubblegum, he smiled.

* * *

 

“Oi, lad!” Demo yelled from his seat. “What’s that on your neck?”

Sniper turned his head. “Huh?”

“Right here,” Demo put down his bottle of rum on the tiny table in the base kitchen and pointed at his jugular. “Either you’ve got something there or me eye’s playing tricks on me.”

Frowning, Sniper rubbed his hand against his neck. When he applied pressure against it, his face suddenly paled, and he looked around for a mirror. His eyes landed on a spoon on the counter and he snatched it up to his face. Even through the distorted reflection, he could still easily make out purple splotches of color on both sides of his neck, many too high for his shirt collar to hide.

The color returned to his face in a hot rush, and he shakily lowered the spoon back on the counter. “M...Must be seein’ things, mate.” He stuttered in Demo’s direction. “M--me neck’s fine.”

“You sure, lad? Now you sound like you just saw a flippin’ ghost.”

Sniper coughed. “J--just--thinking, I guess.”

Demo shrugged. “Well, whatever you’re tryin’ to hide, ya’ want some whisky to calm your nerves?” He picked his rum bottle back up and shook it after he slowly stood from his chair.

“Think I’ll pass, but thanks.”

“Suit yourself, laddie.” He patted Sniper’s shoulder as he passed. “Lemme know if you change your mind. We gotta watch each other’s back in this war, after all!”

“Y--yeah, thanks, mate.”

Demo took one step past the doorway, then paused, and said, “Oh, one more wee thing,” He looked over his shoulder with a smirk. “Tell twinkle toes I said ‘hi’.”

Sniper stared at Demo, who merely barked with laughter as he walked away. When the laughter faded, Sniper bit his lips and rubbed his neck as if he could rub the hickies away in time for the match.

**Author's Note:**

> Shy snipes is best snipes in my book. Big thank you to birdfluff for proofreading this! <3 Let's hope next year brings us more tf2 fanfics, and updating the comic amirite? XD


End file.
